Advice on growing old

How old is old?

One of my favorite jokes involved three mature (elderly) gentlemen who meet each morning for coffee. The third member of the trio shows up late in a wheelchair, an arm in a sling and a patch over an eye.

“You’re late, Ed,” one of the men shouts as the wheelchair bumps the table, spilling coffee.

“Yeah,” Ed replies. “Had a hard time getting ready. It’s a bummer when you can’t hear, can’t see, can’t walk, can’t stand, but thank goodness I can still drive a car.”

Age is relative

I’m 92 years old and continue to work part-time as a volunteer reporter for this newfangled news source called the Highway 58 Herald. Can’t hold it, can’t fold it, can’t fit it into a mailbox. If you don’t have a computer, you can’t read this so-called newspaper, which qualifies you as being elderly.

So, turn up your hearing aid and put on your reading glasses.

You may need a bit of advice on what to do when you no longer can turn over in bed and are one foot away from turning over in a grave.

Strikes against you

My friends remind me that a lot of folks aren’t really old but need special attention, especially medical attention.

I can’t help you there because I still walk three miles a day and can put on and take off my shoes.

Time to Move

Don’t wait too long to sell your house or apartment and move into a retirement facility. Or move in with one of your kids and get even.

Yeah, so you don’t want to leave the flower garden, the grape arbor that you planted 50 years ago, long-time neighbors. Stuff like that.

But you’re tired of firing up a mower, shoveling snow off the driveway and wobbling up a ladder to clean out the gutters.

Hey, it’s time to think about a new adventure.

Retirement home?

My late wife and I researched and visited retirement facilities for two years before we decided to move. She needed to use a wheelchair, and we were unable to participate in social activities.

We didn’t take time to mope around and cry. We sold the house and moved into a retirement facility.

We immediately were busy getting acquainted with what would be new friends during meals, group activities and outings. And we no longer cooked meals or cleaned our apartment. I refused, however, to play bingo. That’s an old-folks game.

Living in a retirement facility was expensive, granted, but we had saved a half-century for the final chapter of our lives, including the sale of our house.

You often can continue to pursue your favorite hobby, travel, interact with other people even during a COVID-19 pandemic. Or continue to pursue a career as I have done by writing for the Herald.

Advice for all old-timers

A word of warning: Don’t become addicted to watching television shows. Read a book. Learn to play the violin. Lead a discussion group.

Or join a coffee klatch at a local restaurant. That is, if you can still drive a car.

Note: The late Roy Paul Nelson, a University of Oregon journalism professor, drew these cartoons, which appeared in a hobby journal that the author printed as a hobby.

Longtime Oregon journalist Dean Rea, widely known for his years as a University of Oregon journalism educator and editor at The Register-Guard in Eugene,  serves as a founding board member, correspondent and columnist for The Herald.